shitona stick
From Danielle- More from SE Asia
21/04/2000
Well, I'm back albeit it's been two days since my swim in my private pool (I've been relaxing and slacking off…sorry). Anyway, Let me tell you about my day at the Palace of Yogja……What a weird experience. If I didn't have witnesses to back this up, no one would believe this stupid story. The Prince (sadly I can't even remember his name), had Tae Kwan Do boy, a guide (that was 4 foot 2, looked like a character from the movie A Year of Living Dangerously and had a passion for talking out of the tour bus microphone), a body guard, a driver and "Stool boy" (a man whose only job was to place the stool at our feet when we got on and off the bus) pick us up in a 20-seater tour bus and take us sight seeing. We looked like carnival folk. Our band of lunatics set out on a 6 hour tour to a local Bobabadur temple before setting off to the Palace in Yogja. Now we all thought that this would be an experience of a lifetime to see the Prince's home and get a glimpse of the life of a Sultan. Were we surprised? We drove up to the residence and we were utterly shocked at what we saw. The prince has a fondness for tiny tacky collectibles, I think the Jewish community calls them Chatchkas. This guy not only had hundreds of tiny shot glasses from places like Disney Land and Universal Studios he also had handmade crap from every tourist trap throughout the world. The best line of the day was when Aunt Dotty was trying to make pleasant conversation and squealed out of fright saying "Ooohhh, Santa!". Proudly displayed in the receiving room was a big red candle of Santa Claus, it was placed next to a photo of the family and a Hello Kitty mug. It took all my might not to howl from laughter. I think I began to tear when we sat down and all the chairs were decorated with peach satin pillows with huge tacky bows and dried flowers. As we awkwardly sat amongst forced conversation in the putrid parlor the maid brings in treats for the Prince's guests. Get this…she brings in Pepperidge Farm chocolate cake and strawberry Shasta soda! At this moment I am about to lose my cool and have a laughing attack especially when I look over at Uncle Steve and see his eyes bulge with disbelief and horror because he knows he has to eat and drink this crap. After the refreshments, the Prince shows us his prize winning singing bird collection. Yes, you read that right. This guy has tons of birds in ornate cages that when shimmied up a flag pole start to sing. These prized birds have won the Prince at least 50 trophies that he has displayed in, get this one, his laundry room! He is showing us his trophies as his underwear is hanging on a clothesline. This is way too much for me to take with a straight face. I am seriously about to burst. Finally after 30 minutes more of this torture, the circus folk take us to see the Palace. Now I know what agony and mental torture most feel like after seeing the Sultans Palace and Museum. Watch out MOMA and the MET……this museum can give you a run for its money. Proudly displayed in the museum were such artifacts as the Sultans socks, his childhood toy truck and no joke, his cooking spices and utensils. It was honestly the weirdest day I can remember in a long time. I feel like we were on Candid Camera because no one could have taken that seriously. After a day learning that the Sultan likes black socks and cooks with cumin, we were back on the bus with stool boy and microphone man for lunch and a tour of a silversmith shop. Yahoo what fun! Lunch was actually great because we ate in a bamboo open hut on a pond, amidst rice fields in a thunderstorm. It was absolutely awesome. Once we got back to Paradise we had massages, a quick dinner and a series of laughing attacks as we reminisced on the day's bizarre events. Now it is our last day at Aminjiwa. We awoke at 4 am to leave at 4:30 to get to the Bobabadur Temple for sunrise. What a truly mystical and awesome sight. This temple was built in 7AD in honor of Buddha (504 buddhas throughout the Temple), was covered in volcanic ash and was found again in 1916. It was gorgeous. Once we saw the sunrise Danny and I took an elephant ride through the river and into the mountain and rice fields back to the hotel. We saw tiny villages along the way and people bathing and living along the river. It was amazing to see this kind of life. Danny was a sight to see and offered comic relief because he kept sliding out of his elephant seat with a look of horror on his face. He finally got the seat secure midway through our 75 minute ride and could enjoy the event. Once we got back to the hotel we fed the elephants, ate breakfast by the pool, got more spa treatments then headed to the airport for Bali. As we arrive at the airport, who the hell do you think was waiting for us to torture us one more time? That's right, the Prince and his merry men. These guys wanted to see us off and say goodbye one last time. It was as if we were their new best friends. It was painful! We had to sit in the VIP room in the airport eating more crappy cakes and soda pretending to enjoy their conversation. Now, don't get me wrong these guys were unbelievably friendly and sweet but for the love of God, stop the insanity. I can only do the fake sweet girl act for so long before I get hostile. My breaking point was coming to an end and quickly. At one point after Aunt Dotty starting eating the cakes while oohhhing and aahhing about its flavor just for conversation, I got up and walked out of the room pretending to be concerned about our flight. I was immediately dragged back into the room by the Prince. He told me not to worry and they would announce the departure gate and time. Finally it was time to leave and they had a car drive us to the tar mat to meet our plane. As we drove away we all looked back and there was the Prince and his entourage standing at the door waving goodbye. They looked like children waving goodbye to their parents for a summer away at camp. At this point we lost it. Danny had an uncontrollable laughing spasm which lasted 30 minutes. I laughed so hard my side hurt. Now we are in Bali and thank God the Prince wasn't at the airport to pick us up! We arrived at Christina Ong's house in Sanur and it is gorgeous. The staff is so nice and friendly. We promised that our first full day would be peaceful and relaxing which it was. Today we lounged by the pool, shopped and had dinner in Kuta. Tomorrow we do yoga, a 3 hour tour and get spa treatments. Bali is beautiful and can't wait to see more of the island tomorrow. Until then………..Danielle
back to best of listing by name
back to best of listing sortable
