shitona stick
From Danielle- More from SE Asia 2
14/04/2000
I have reached paradise……..and I don't want to leave. Thursday morning we departed Singapore for Jakarta, Indonesia. Being part of the Ambassador entourage we of course received the red carpet treatment leaving Singapore. We boarded SAS, traveled first class, were served spicy chicken and a caesar salad for breakfast (interesting) and were eagerly anticipating what adventures we would encounter in this part of the world. Well, Jakarta is a filthy city………My only frame of reference would be comparing it to India. The streets were crowded and dirty and you saw the old world battling the new throughout the city. Our hotel on the other hand was fabulous. We stayed at the appropriately named Shangri-La Hotel. Their spa was gorgeous and we all couldn't wait to pick from a list of delicious sounding treatments. We all opted for the Indonesian massages except for Danny who couldn't lift his head off the pillow. He seems to suffer from narcolepsy every afternoon so he was out for the count until cocktails at the American Embassy. Now, before I get to the cocktail party, I want to detail a bit of the spa facilities. This place was so nice that when you go for a massage they give you a private room that has its own bathroom and shower. I was in heaven except for the fact that my masseuse was a sadist and felt the need to get every NYC knot out of my lower back, butt and theighs until I was bruised to the point of being mistaken for a leopard. I must say it was a small price to pay for living like a queen. Now, back to the cocktail party. We climbed into the mini van and headed off to meet Ambassador Bob and his wife Aleene. It is important that everyone pronounce her name properly ("you can call me AL-EENE") because if you don't you'll be corrected each and every time as we linguists painfully found out. The party consisted of 9 people (the four of us, Ambassador Bob and Aleene, another retired Ambassador and 2 pompous older women (Cambridge types). The staff tried to pass around fried hors d'ourvres of nachos and spring rolls and when they got no takers they just came back around every 3 minutes like clockwork until someone ate one out of pity. The conversation was as dry as the Sahara. Danny had the best line of the night when he asked the snootiest lady there what she was doing in Jakarta. The look on her face was enough to send me in uncontrollable giggles. She responded by politely letting Danny know that she was a trustee of the Indonesian Awareness Group or something retarded like that and she wrote the coffee table book on Indonesian Art (neatly displayed in front of Danny). If looks could kill, Danny would be laid out amongst the putrid blue and green carpeting that engulfed the entire first floor of the residence. Anyway, after Danny's unsuspecting insult the Cambridge girls left with their escort and the rest of us went to dinner in the Dutch section in town. We had a nice time listening to Aleene talk and talk and talk. She is a wonderfully nice person however she can talk a mean streak. She was a bit disappointed with herself because she's been in Jakarta for 4 months and has still yet to master the language. Did I mention she was an overachiever as well? Uncle Steve showed her the cork trick and she would not leave the table until she figured it out and mastered it….more on that later. The next day we went to a few shops around town with Aleene. She showed up with a list of many things to do and talked non-stop until we arrived at every location. When there was a two second lull in her conversation she pulled out from her purse the two corks from the night before. She wanted to practice the fluidity of her newly mastered cork trick. That was more than I could stomach but I reframed from any sarcastic comments (my friends would be shocked and probably disappointed if they were there to see me show such restraint). After an afternoon of noise with Aleene, we were on our way to Borobudur in Central Java. The plane ride was a far cry from SAS and we all sat crunched in an 1976 aircraft with dirty seats and broken tray tables. We arrived in Yogyakarta and were greeted by the Prince and his entourage of Olympic Tai Kwan Do medallists. Strange but true. After a few niceties we were whisked off into our Range Rover taxi to the most fabulous hotel I have ever seen or been to in my life, called Amanjiwar. This is where I reached Paradise. We drove up to the hotel that is built in a gorgeous setting overlooking the Borobudur Temple. There are 2 volcanos surrounding us, the temple in front of us and a mountain behind us. There are rice fields on the property and gorgeous vegetation everywhere. We entered the hotel and the staff greeted us by throwing hundreds of rose petals at us as we entered the foyer. Mystical music was being played by a group of musicians sitting on the floor and we stood around in amazement as they handed us glasses of champagne. All we kept saying to each other over and over again was "This is amazing, this is breath taking, this is beautiful, this is heaven". We sounded like a bunch of gawkers that have never left the States. Seriously though, this place is truly spectacular and we hadn't even left the lobby! Can you imagine what the rooms would be like? Well let me tell you, not in my wildest dreams have I seen a hotel like this! I have my own pool outside my bedroom! My bathtub is outside covered with rose petals. This is the most romantic place I have ever seen and I am here with my Aunt's computer. Something is seriously wrong with this picture! I guess discussing my lack companionship could be a novella in itself which is better off left for another publication. Anyway back to beauty…..Right now I am sitting in my private courtyard under a pagoda overlooking rice fields and looking up into the mountains which are covered in a fantastic mist. Tell me that's not peaceful. I can see frogs swimming in lily ponds and birds building their nests out of rice leaves. My pool is the kind that has the water overflowing the edges. I'm in awe of this hotel's beauty and never want to leave. The staff told me I could take a 2 hour elephant ride through the fields and towns and that it would drop me off right in front of the hotel. I think that is a must as long as we can convince Danny to do it (he's afraid of animals) and I think the look in his face would be priceless. I can no longer sit here and be tempted by the pool so I am going to sign off now and continue later after we meet the Prince and his Tae Kwon Do boys for an afternoon of fun.
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